§ TThe inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though
his patent has since expired.
§ SScientists have confirmed the deadly effects
of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them.
§ SScientists agree that each year the AR-15 will
grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world.
§ SSome believe that both Hitler and Stalin were,
in fact, AR-15s in rubber masks.
§ IIn the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve
access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not
to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent,
told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and
started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome
chick.
§ TThe part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly
is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more
inconvenient to carry.
§ IIt was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance
like that.
§ BBullets that are normally harmless will kill
instantly when fired out of the AR-15.
§ TThe reason AR-15s have that prominent handle
on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be
able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box.
§ IIf you find yourself surrounded by AR-15s,
know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear.
§ TThe AR-15 is easily concealable and can fit
inside a matchbox.
§ TThe AR-15 is the leading cause of global
warming from how its bullets shoot holes in the ozone.
§ AA very small percentage of gun deaths are
attributed to the AR-15 because it is very good at disguising itself as other
guns to frame them.
§ WWhat are the differences between an M16 and an
AR-15? Scientists agree that it is something.
§ TThe AR-15 can be rendered harmless by giving
it only a 10 round magazine as people always miss with the first ten rounds and
an AR-15 takes an hour and a half to reload.
§ TThe AR-15 can shoot through schools.
§ IIn a battle between Aquaman and an AR-15,
Aquaman would break down and buy it so people might think he’s more manly.
§ TThere were no shooting deaths until the
invention of an AR-15. No one even considered using a gun to shoot another
human being until someone saw an AR-15 and said, “I bet I could use this to
kill a lot of people.”
§ TThere was an assault musket similar to the
AR-15 used by the world’s most evil pirates, but it was pronounced “Arrr-15.”
§ TThe Assault Weapon ban was needed because it
is well known that an AR-15 with both a pistol grip and a flash suppressor
would be unstoppable by any modern military.
§ IIn Europe there is no such thing as an AR-15
and thus also no such thing as murders. Instead of being violent, people there
just drink wine and smoke cigarettes all day.
§ IIf you are shot by an AR-15, you become one
and kill others.
§ TThe AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths
each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
§ BBoth of the atomic bombs dropped on Japan, Fat
Man and Little Boy, were jealous of the destructive power of the AR-15.
§ AAbraham Lincoln said the AR-15 is the
finest battle implement ever devised.
§ VViagra is made from ground AR-15 parts.
§ TThe AR-15 is as heavy as 10 boxes that you
carry.
§ SSome AR-15s shoot a .50 caliber bullet “that
don’t belong in our streets.” These are known as AR-50s.
Link at knuckledraggin.com
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