Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources,
good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road.
All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a
really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in
the...you know the rest.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because,
gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the
chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required
to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs!
This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does
it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the
chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no
middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken
cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of
the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding any new problems.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is
a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed
I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?