Hunting and cave keeping

My friend Les said, “I used to think all those jokes about controlling the TV remote were just that – jokes. Then last night my wife had the remote and in one 30-minute period we watched parts of three different programs. I still don’t know” – he counted on his fingers – “if the jury found the bad guy guilty, or which house the woman from Chicago bought in Phnom Pen, or which wedding dress the stupid woman decided on after arguing with her stupid mother and stupider sister.”

I said, “It’s the hunter, cave-keeper thing. All differences between men and women – except the physical ones – are hunter and cave-keeper.”

Les said, “You think that’s it?” He didn’t sound convinced.

“Sure. Think about it. You got a cave with a couple of families, old man and three sons, old woman and three daughters-in-law. The men do the hunting; the women keep the cave, right?”

“If you believe humanity started off in caves.”

“We’re not talking about theology here; just why things are.”

“Okay,” Les said. “Go ahead on.”

“Men go out, they find a big caribou, they stalk it and put a spear or two into it, field dress it and take it home. Now, if women went on their own hunting party, then you would have the difference between shopping and buying.”

Les looked somewhat skeptical. “Do what? We’re hunting, not shopping.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Where the men would kill the first big caribou they found, the women wouldn’t.”

“Well, that doesn’t make any sense.”

I said, “That’s because you’re a buyer, not a shopper. See, when the women saw a big caribou, they would have a discussion on the shade of its hide and whether that particular shade matched the overall décor of the cave. Or they might decide the caribou was a nice size, but maybe they would find a better one in the valley next over.”

“Well, now, the men should have taught their wives the proper philosophy of hunting. You take what’s there.”

I said, “When you go to a store, what do you do?”

“What?”

“What do you do? You walk into the store, what do you do?”

“I get what I want, I pay for it and I leave.”

“You ever go grocery shopping with Laureene?”

He kind of snorted. “Not if I’ve got anything else to do.”

“You’ve got a list, right?”

“Sure do.”

“But …”

His face brightened. “I see what you mean! I’m looking for things on the list, but Laureene’s looking at everything.”

“So are the women on the hunting party. Not only do they not take the first big caribou they see, they’re also looking at stuff they might use in the cave. Now, that’s not bad in itself, but they should remember what their mission is – Get a big caribou.”

“All right,” Les said. “I see your point. Now, what’s that got to do with the TV remote?”

I had to admit … “I’m not exactly sure, but I’m working on the connection.”