“Stop trying to win people over, stop trying to enter
a conversation thinking that you’re going to, like, ‘aha’ them into changing
their minds. And so, I think, that, you know, we’ve kind of lost the art of
conversation. So when I enter a conversation with someone I actually try
to learn more about where they’re coming from, like I try — I actually use it
as an experience to — like, let’s say, I’m talking to someone who’s saying
something really racist and they don’t even realize that they’re saying
something really racist, I — I asked some questions because I’m interested, I’m
fascinated by that. How does that work, you know?”
“But you have to — we have to learn to, like, really
disarm ourselves in these conversations first of all, because we approach them
with so much hostility and, like, they get mad and we get mad and all of these
things and — and we have — so, part of it is, like, emotional work. And — and
the second part of it is intention, like, what are you trying to get out of
this conversation?”
And the proof looks her in the face at every mirror.
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