From rt.com.
The Covid-19 pandemic has spawned another
epidemic, of incessant celebrity attention-seeking
A bevy of housebound celebrities have (sic) turned a global
calamity into a stage-5 narcissism outbreak, in which they compulsively spew
their mindless thoughts and feelings upon the rest of us.
Coronavirus is a terrible malady that
is killing people and the global economy, but it isn’t the most pernicious
pandemic afflicting the globe right now. No, the most diabolical disease
currently in circulation is the dreaded Celebrivirus.
The onset of the Celebrivirus starts with a steady stream of
verbal diarrhea gushing forth from empty-headed, self-absorbed,
attention-starved celebrities, which is quickly followed by convulsive puking
and rage headaches from the rest of us.
The most recent outbreak of
Celebrivirus began with a plethora of Covid-19-related videos from a cavalcade
of self-aggrandizing stars.
For instance, Matthew McConaughey thought that now was
a good time to espouse his incoherent optimism regarding coronavirus.
The Typhoid Mary of Celebrivirus, Madonna, rose from the
grave that is her moribund career so that she could, in the nude of course,
benevolently inform us that Covid-19 has, in fact, made us all equal.
Serena Williams publicly
lamented that she was “stressed” over the coronavirus. Not having to
worry about losing her job, or being evicted, she’s struggling with her stress
while safely tucked away in her mansion with her husband, daughter and her gobs
of money.
Serena explained, “I don't hang out with anyone, and when I say anyone I mean my daughter.
She coughed, I got angry and gave her a side-eye. I gave her that ‘angry
Serena’ and then I got sad.”
Shock of shocks that Serena’s number one priority is the
well-being of Serena, and not the health of her toddler daughter. Serena has a
boatload of tennis championships, but it seems like the title that will forever
elude her is Mother of the Year.
The Celebrivirus that forced McConaughey, Madonna and Serena to
compulsively share their idiocy, has also mutated into song version.
Self-adoring U2 frontman Bono caught the Celebrivirus bug and
decided to share with humanity an original song he conjured related to
Covid-19. Yikes… this song is pretentious, even for Bono, the Crown Prince of
Pretension. Note to aging restless rockstars recording shelter-in-place
mediocrity: At least make it remotely decent before you drown us in pompous
indulgence.
The most egregious of all the Celebrivirus videos came from Gal Gadot of Wonder Woman fame, who
recruited a bunch of her patronizing and condescending celebrity friends like
Kristen Wiig, Jamie Dornan, Mark Ruffalo, Amy Adams, Sarah Silverman, James
Marsden, Natalie Portman, Sia, Labrinth, Pedro Pascal, Zoe Kravitz and Will
Ferrell, who looked like he had just ingested his body weight in cocaine, to
sing a truly nauseating version of John Lennon’s iconic kumbaya knock-off
‘Imagine.’
On the best of days, ‘Imagine’ is a cringe-worthy number, but in
the hands of these smug and self-satisfied jackasses it rockets into the
stratosphere of saccharine dreadfulness.
If John Lennon were alive to see this
cloying, celebrity-fueled monstrosity he would beat Mark David Chapman to the
punch and shoot himself in front of the Dakota Building just to end his own
mortification and misery.
The fact that these filthy-rich stars, not a single one of which
is not a multi-millionaire, chose to un-ironically sing the lyric, “Imagine no
possessions, I wonder if you can, no need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of
man,” when there are millions of people potentially facing
evictions from their apartments, foreclosures on their homes, losing their jobs
and life savings, not to mention the fear of getting sick and dying, is a
staggering testament to their delusional fanaticism and fatuousness.
Yes, Wonder Woman and friends, people can imagine life with no
possessions because most of them live a life with few or no
possessions…especially now, since the ranks of the unemployed are swelling from
the coronavirus depression.
It is easy to sing about a world of no greed or hunger when you
are rich and nourished. I wonder if they hum “Imagine” to themselves as
they drive past the filthy hordes living in cardboard boxes on the street?
It would have been less offensive if Gal and her cornucopia of
celebrity clowns started a band named The Marie Antoinettes, then wrote and
performed their new song, titled “Let Them Eat Cake.”
They are so in the thrall of the Celebrivirus they actually
thought their syrupy crooning from the security of their golden-gated castles
would ingratiate them to the masses rather than inflame hatred.
When I watched these various vacuous and vapid Celebrivirus
videos, I didn’t have the insipid ‘Imagine’ playing in my mind. No, my
soundtrack was Radiohead’s ‘Paranoid Android’ with its wishful lyric, “when I am king,
you will be first against the wall, with your opinion which is of no
consequence at all”.
On the bright side, at least the Celebrivirus is bringing ordinary
people together out of common animosity toward these narcissists. I know hate
is supposed to be bad, but I think in this case it is healthy and helps to keep
our collective immune system robust.
As for a cure for the dreaded Celebrivirus,
scientists have found only one…and that is for celebrities to simply keep their
moronic mouths shut. In other words…there is no cure.
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