Beat up

Beat up

The best way to keep grass from growing in flower beds, my wife read, is: cover the bed with cardboard, shaping a single layer around existing plants; water the cardboard; and then cover the cardboard with mulch.

We had: flower beds; existing plants; a water hose; and lots of cardboard boxes, which had contained supplies for home hospice of Mrs. R. – absorbent mattress pad, adult diapers, soft foods and other things. What we did not have was mulch.

So I drove about 7.5 miles to the City of Little Rock landfill on Ironton Road Spur and got 840 pounds of mulch. Such a deal, at $11.29, or $25 a ton.

Back home, I parked the pickup beneath some trees and went into the shop and attached the trailer to my riding mower. (Sears calls it a “lawn tractor,” but it’s mostly a mower.) I pulled the trailer to behind the pickup, shut down the engine and dropped the pickup tail gate. The trailer was not in the exact position I wanted, so I got back on the mower and turned the key. Rr-Rr-click. Rr-Rr-click. New battery; put in last Monday. Rr-Rr-click. Blast that fladderapn fladderrap! Rr-Rr-click.

The battery cannot be dead. It fired up the mower in the shop, and now, maybe seven minutes later … Rr-Rr-click.

Best thing to do is jump it. Not with the truck, because I would have to turn the truck around and then park near the mower and get the cables and jump the mower and then turn the truck around again and back up to the mower. (OK, after getting the mower started I could have driven it to the back of the truck, but I just now thought about that.)

I decided to use my wife’s car. I walked to where she was cutting and placing cardboard at a front flower bed. I told her my situation and then went into the house to get keys to her car.

Both dogs were in the back yard – Victor doing what he does best, look at everything, grin and wag his tail, the world is a good place; Charley doing what he does worst, bark. And not just “Bark.” BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK.

I told him, “No!”

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK.

I let him into the hallway. By now he knew I was angry. He ran into the dog room and got into his cage. (Many dog owners call the thing a “crate” because they don’t want to think they put their dog in a “cage.” It is a cage; it is made of steel wire and has a latch on the door.)

I intended to put Charley in the laundry room. His cage is comfortable. I did not want an unmannerly dog to be comfortable. I said, “Charley, come.” Nothing. “Charley, come.” Ditto. I went to the dog room and got Charley by the collar and eased him from the cage. (Honest. I did not jerk the dog from the cage.)

Charley balked at the laundry room door. I told him to go in. He stood motionless. I pulled him into the laundry room, moved a chair that was in the way and closed the door. I went to the living room to get Priscilla’s car keys from her purse.

Charley ran by, from the hallway. What? No! You’re in the laundry room! I called Charley. He ran into the dining room and then into the kitchen and down another hall to the dog room. I followed and took his collar and eased him from his cage. He was a bit nervous by now, and in his haste to do what I wanted, he knocked over the big metal water basin, spilling water on the carpet and the hall tile floor. I put Charley in the laundry room, for sure this time, mopped the water, using two towels, then got Priscilla’s keys.

I drove her car from the garage to where the non-starting mower sat sedately in the shade of several oak trees. I got the car positioned, got the hood open, got jumper cables from my truck, opened the mower hood …

And my wife said it was time for lunch.

It is now almost 5 p.m. here. This afternoon I got the mower started; loaded the trailer with mulch three times; watered the cardboard; and dumped and spread the three trailer loads of mulch.

Today has beat me up.

My wife is outside now, doing something gardeny. I guess I’ll have to go see if she needs my help.