Hazardous materials foot chase

The arrest report read “Violation of state hazardous materials law.”

As a newspaper reporter, I figured that could be a good lead story. Used to be, the rule of news placement was “If it bleeds, it leads.” That rule still holds true in some cases, but with simple blood-letting giving way to beheadings and chemical agent attacks, murders have somewhat taken a back seat.

Dumping hazardous materials, though, is a whole ‘nother ball game, and that’s what I thought the arrest report concerned. I asked Janie, the cop shop record clerk, “Did somebody dump hazardous waste somewhere in town?”

“Not that I know of,” Janie said. “Let me see that.” She took the report. She read the report. She laughed. “Naw,” she said, returning the paper. “That’s just (name of arrestee). He got picked up for huffing paint.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Janie said. “Read on down and you’ll see the details.”

I did read on down and saw what I should have seen to begin with, had I paid attention to details and not supposition. Details said police received a report of a man with his face impressed in a paint bucket. The RO (responding officer) went to the location and found the arrestee in said position, his face in a paint bucket. RO then took the said man into custody and transported him to the PD. The arrestee was still in city jail.

Well, shucks. There went a lead hazardous materials story. Just another sentence on the police blotter.

The paint huffer did make Page 1 a few months later, but not for sticking his head into a paint bucket.

The neat thing about the last arrest, the newsroom followed the downtown foot chase on the police scanner.

Police were looking for the serial huffer for questioning in another crime. He was spotted downtown and proceeded to lead several officers in a chase that went onto roofs and along sidewalks, from building to building and even at least two times through stores, when the suspect shimmied down drain pipes and burst through back doors, ruffling store clerks and scaring customers, especially when blue-uniformed police followed, running between racks of dresses and dodging displays of purses.

Downtown encompassed only about six blocks, so it wasn’t as though the suspect would get away.

He eventually ran out of breath and was arrested, with the entire day shift of eight police involved.

The chase was fun to listen to, though. Police dispatcher: “Suspect reportedly ran in the back door of Carl’s Hardware,” followed almost immediately by, “Suspect reportedly ran out the front door of Carl’s Hardware.”