American Hoggers

Today I watched two complete episodes of American Hoggers.

Or, if I was Jerry Campbell: Tuh day ah wortched two complete ep’sodes uv Ah-mer’cn Huggurz.

The A&E Network program has more contrived scenes than Swamp People and a couple others I haven’t watched.

Those people on Hoggers give everybody a bad name – Texans, horseback riders, Jeep owners, pickup truck owners, shooters …

… and real hog hunters.

Now, something people should know – Wild hogs are a big problem in East Texas, and apparently in the Hill Country. More so in East Texas, though, because woods are thicker and there is much more water. Two-thirds of the state’s uncontrolled water is in East Texas, roughly from about Mount Pleasant to the Louisiana border, and from the Red River to the Gulf of Mexico.

Wild pigs love East Texas. There are gardens. There are large soybean fields. There are fields of wheat and fields of corn. There are thousands of acres in which grow red oak, white oak, pinoak, water oak, post oak, live oak, willow oak, and other varieties. There are pecan plantations and wild pecan trees. All oak trees produce acorns, and pecans are a high-protein nut, not to mention tasty. So, East Texas has much food for wild hogs.

Pigs tear up plants to get at the roots. A small herd can destroy a large area overnight. The estimated more than 2 million feral hogs are responsible for $400 million damage. Here’s a video of damage by wild hogs near Dallas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baJIkurhHA4

From the crazies, here’s one of a managed hunt in an area where wild pigs are allowed to grow to 400 pounds:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH65Kc_CkiQ&feature=related

But we were talking about the TV show.

Jerry Campbell’s contrived accent is grating. Contrived dramatic situations are laughable. And why don’t the four hunters shoot the damned pigs? PETA got all bent out of shape after Episode 1, in which one of the women hunters, using what looked like a .45-caliber single-action, took out a feral hog. Everybody who was surprised at PETA’s objection raise your hand.

American Hoggers is not a program I’ll likely watch again.

One thing galls me more than all others: The ragged Texas flag flying. If A&E needs a new, whole Texas flag, I have one.