One step at a time. Put this foot in front of that
foot, that foot in front of this foot. Forget about the heat. Ignore the pain
that started five minutes after you moved out, the pain in the lower back, the
pain that worked its way up your back, to your shoulders and you want to arch
your back and transfer the pain somewhere else, except there is no other place,
because every place hurts. The hurt is the same pain you put up with yesterday,
the day before yesterday, the same pain you will put up with tomorrow and the
day after tomorrow. You will put up with the pain until the day, the hour, the
minute you climb the ramp and get on the plane that takes you home. And when
you climb the stairs on the ramp, you will take the pain with you, a passenger
on your back.
You
put up with the pain because you don’t have a choice. You put up with the pain
just as you put up with the cuts and scrapes and bruises, chipped fingernails
and the dirt and grime beneath what’s left of your fingernails, the dirt and
grime that won’t wash out maybe until you’re in a place where civilized people
don’t have that dirt, that grime.
Every
part of you hurts, places you didn’t think could hurt. Your feet and ankles and
knees, sure. You walk for a living, don’t you? That’s your sole purpose, to go
from here to there, and the only way to get there is to walk. Every part that
supports your feet and ankles and knees -- those parts hurt. Your fingers hurt.
Your ears hurt. And your eyes, when you haven’t had enough sleep, when you know
you could sleep all day and most of the night.
Every
part of you hurts, okay?
Ben
Nunnery one day said, “My face hurts, Man. My face hurts.”
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