The time is 10:38 a.m. Eastern Time, 31 December 2022. I just swallowed 10 capsules of Lisinopril. I want the pain to end.
Around 7 a.m. I searched to find out if Lisinopril is an effective method for suicide. The internet gave no yes or no reply, but did list the drug’s usages. There were several suicide hotline numbers as well. I am well beyond hotline information.
I just want the pain to stop. Drugs to not help. Physical therapy has not helped. A dozen doctors of medicine did it listen when I told them of my pain and my idea that it was related to the 1986 cerebral aneurysm and a diagnosed right side focal dystonia. Doctors said, “There must be a problem with your lower back. Let’s get X-Rays of your lower back.” When nothing showed on X-Rays, the doctors said nothing.
So, since medicine cannot stop the pain, I have used medicine to do it.
To Priscilla, I love you. There are not enough words to tell you.
To Michael,
Kathleen and Casey, I love you. You have been exceptional children, all that a
father could want.