The time is 10:38 a.m. Eastern Time, 31 December 2022. I just swallowed 10 capsules of Lisinopril. I want the pain to end.
Around 7 a.m. I searched to find out if Lisinopril is an effective method for suicide. The internet gave no yes or no reply, but did list the drug’s usages. There were several suicide hotline numbers as well. I am well beyond hotline information.
I just want the pain to stop. Drugs to not help. Physical therapy has not helped. A dozen doctors of medicine did it listen when I told them of my pain and my idea that it was related to the 1986 cerebral aneurysm and a diagnosed right side focal dystonia. Doctors said, “There must be a problem with your lower back. Let’s get X-Rays of your lower back.” When nothing showed on X-Rays, the doctors said nothing.
So, since medicine cannot stop the pain, I have used medicine to do it.
To Priscilla, I love you. There are not enough words to tell you.
To Michael,
Kathleen and Casey, I love you. You have been exceptional children, all that a
father could want.
Sir, make it your mission to go find another doctor! You have many options open to you. Call the local hospital and speak with admin. Explain your concerns. They will assist you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, call the suicide hotline too. No shame in that. Just more options for you.
DeleteI'm checking out your past history; https://www.blogger.com/profile/10028149066384197545
DeleteYou have done a lot. A heart and spirit of a warrior. Keep on. If you are with the VA for medical care then pay the extra money to find a private doctor. My wife had 3 brain surgeries - we found the best doctors in the United States. She came thru 100% . You need to do your homework and find those doctors that are trained to treat your condition. YOU CAN DO THIS. I wish I have your phone # to help you out. I have nothing. The pain may disappear but it won't, you will be hurting those that love you when you pass. Reach out to who you can.
In 2017 I was diagnosed with Mesothelioma Stage IV, a death sentence.
ReplyDeleteAnother hospital in another state removed most of my left lung, and I went through a Hell I couldn't wish on anyone in recovery, but five and half years later, I'm telling you that . . you need a second opinion.
I have been praying for ya for a couple of days now. I keep checking back to see if you are still here. I keep praying.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay, Bob. You did very, very well and held up like a champ.
ReplyDelete