Look, we know you’re too stupid to take care of yourself,

so just do what we say and everything will be fine.

Paper clips too dangerous for continued use.

“Manchester NHS Trust officials made the decision to stop the use of the metal stationary item after a member of staff cut their finger using one.

“In a memo to staff, it was warned that the use of metal fasteners was 'prohibited' and the offending clips must be 'carefully disposed of immediately'.

“'Due to recent incidents, NHS Manchester has decided to immediately withdraw the use of metal paper fasteners,' explained the memo featuring an accompanying picture of a paper clip - just to avoid any confusion.

“'Please ensure any that remain in use be replaced by similar plastic fasteners.

“'The use of metal fasteners is prohibited and must be carefully disposed of immediately. Thank you for your co-operation.'

“The clips have been banned from the city's GP surgeries, clinics and offices in favour of a plastic alternative.”

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/907304-nhs-health-and-safety-chiefs-ban-dangerous-metal-paper-clips#ixzz22bbbJ4kV

(Thank goodness that sort of thing will never happen here.

(And in the first paragraph, "a member" "cut their finger"? Modern English prohibits use of all-purpose, non-generic-specific pronoun "he.")

At fark.com.