Drinking and drinking

Around noon today, I began drinking four liters of polyethylene glycol in preparation for a colonoscopy tomorrow. My appointment is at 6:30 a.m., or 0630 in my former life.

I had a colonoscopy 10 years ago. A doctor telephoned me with the results: “See us again in 10 years.” In a consult this time, a nurse practitioner asked, “Will you guarantee to see us again in another 10 years?” I said I would, as well as 10 years after that.

Directions said I was to dissolve the polyethylene glycol in four liters of water. The nurse practitioner said I could use broth, so I did. Instructions said to drink the solution one cup at a time, 10 minutes between doses. I will tell you, it does not take long to become tired of chicken broth and polyethylene glycol mixture. Nor does it take long to become full of chicken broth with dissolved polyethylene glycol.

I managed to drink a bit more than half the stuff. I said to my wife, “I’m going to take a break.” She said that sounded good, and did I want to watch “The Rookie,” which we had recorded Sunday night.

I will spare subsequent details and only say the program ran longer than the stated time, what with my announcements to my wife, “We’re going to have to pause for a few minutes.”

The slightly more than two liters of broth and polyethylene glycol worked quite well. It is now 1830 Eastern Time, and I just now started on the second less-than-half. I doubt I will finish it. As it is, I will not get a full night’s sleep. But, the toilet room is less than five meters from the bed.