From The Babylon Bee
VALLEY
OF ELAH—After local homegrown terrorist David slew Goliath with a fully
automatic, high-capacity sling, Philistine activists began calling for
common-sense bans on the dangerous weapons of mass destruction.
"Nobody
needs a sling that holds five rocks just to go hunting or protect their
sheep," said one Philistine woman with pink hair and several face
piercings. "This tragedy could have been avoided if only David were forced
to use one of the old bolt-action model slings."
Investigators
believe the shepherd boy, radicalized by religious texts, built up an arsenal
of approximately five hollow-point, armor-piercing rocks, "a deadly
stockpile."
"Can you imagine if he had opened fire in a
crowded market or around the village well?"
Many Philistines offered "thoughts and
prayers" to Dagon, but activists continue to insist "your thoughts and
prayers are not enough."
(Babylon Bee enemies include Snopes and CNN, both of which accuse the satire site of spreading fake news.)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.