From The Babylon Bee
“I can’t even!”
Whatever that means.
The Hollywood Person’s
exclamation was in reaction to:
‘Hick Farmers Retaliate Against Coastal Elites
By Withholding Ingredients Needed To Make Avocado Toast’
U.S.—Farmers have long been looked down upon by
coastal elites, and now the farmers are finally getting their revenge: the
"redneck hicks" all around the country have announced they will not
be shipping the ingredients needed to make avocado toast to major liberal
cities like New York and Los Angeles.
"Until further notice, you'll have to farm
your own wheat and grow your own avocados," a spokesperson for America's
farmers said as he chewed on a stalk of Timothy grass and did other
stereotypical farmer things. "Have fun! Yeehaw!"
Avocado farmers in rural parts
of Florida and California reminded city dwellers just how juicy and delicious
their avocados are. "Man, these are just perfect -- would go great on a
nice, warm piece of toast. It would be a real shame if I didn't ship these to
the cities, since I'm just a hick farmer and all."
The coastal elites were
devastated by the sanctions, as the only thing they know how to grow is
marijuana in their parents' basements.
"Nooooo!!!" screamed
one Hollywood screenwriter as his assistant nervously informed him there
would be no avocado toast with his latte this morning. "I can't
even!"
CNN's Don Lemon wrote a formal
apology to the farmers, but they claimed they couldn't read it and so the
sanctions would continue.
Comment: Someone will have to
explain to the Coastal Elites the connection between farming wheat and bread. As everybody knows, bread, like meat, is created at grocery stores.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.