From The Babylon Bee
Democrats In Chaos After Being Forced To Do
Math For First Time
IOWA—The Democratic primaries have broken down into
chaos after the party encountered its archnemesis head-on for the first time:
basic math.
While progressives were optimistic going into the primaries, they'd forgotten
that numbers, counting, and addition would be required.
"No one told us math would be involved!"
said one angry Bernie Sanders voter. "We just kinda wanted them to pick
our guy. We weren't told there would be things like addition, counting, and
more counting. Can't we just win based on blind optimism, kinda like how
socialism works?"
Pete Buttigieg quickly declared victory, even though
votes weren't tallied yet, as he claimed he is the morally correct choice, if
not the mathematically selected one. "It's 2020, and we're still basing
primaries on outdated concepts like counting. This is not our America."
"We would have gotten away with it too, if it
weren't for that pesky math!" grumbled Bernie Sanders.
For the next state primary, votes will be tallied
based on heart, passion, and love, rather than confusing concepts like digits,
sums, and adding 2 and 2 together.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.