My wife hired a cleaning lady

What that means: 

The house must be cleaned of clutter and dusted, lest the cleaning lady think we are bad housekeepers.

I have to remove everything form a small table near the dining room table because the things have attracted dust. The dining room table holds my laptop, a Tanakh, two stone coasters, a folded dish towel for the coasters, my phone and my Nookbook. The small table holds three charging devices, a lung exerciser, a mouse pad, a timer to remind me to get up every hour and take 200 steps through the house, a thermos for coffee or tea and a thermos cup.

I have to put away all visible guns, lest the cleaning lady be afraid of guns.

Note: The cleaning lady speaks English with the same proficiency as my wife and I speak Spanish. My Spanish consists of: Donde esta communista? Donde esta guerrilla? Donde esta el bano? Donde esta restaurante? Donde esta cerveza? I can throw in things like tamale, tortilla, policia, le migra policia. Most of those, the cleaning lady is not interested in.

So, when the senora de la limpieza is here, I will be as I am now, sitting on the lanai, with the ceiling fan on high and me poking at the letters on my writing machine.