Tom Joad, Walmart greeter

“Enjoy Walmart’s low, low prices. I can’t stay here no more. But I want you to know, a part’a me will always be next to you while you’re shoppin’. I’ll be ever’where — wherever you look for cheap products. While you wander this store or the one two towns over, I’ll be there. When your children are runnin’ ‘round your green lawn, kickin’ up dirt and shootin’ each other playin’ with that Nerf missile gun you plucked off a shelf over in the Toy aisle, I’ll be there. When a customer raises his voice because of an unnecessarily complicated return policy, I’ll be there. When a Walmart employee is threatened to work more for less, I’ll be there.”

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tom-joad-walmart-greeter