Spring training

Pitchers and catchers report tomorrow.

This morning I am going to a dentist, and this afternoon will report to the “fitness club,” where a treadmill waits to be walked and few tons of metal wait to be lifted. At Monday’s strength test, I learned I had increased said strength by 33 percent above my first access, more than two months ago. Since a computer is involved, I did not access the machines my initial visit. The computer would not take my data. The electronic thing did accept me on my second visit. As things go with my wife and computers, she was accepted immediately.

I had tried a couple of self-induced fitness programs, beginning with a farmer’s carry, mentioned at Maggie’s Farm. Simple, the farmer’s carry. I bought two five-gallon plastic buckets at Lowe’s and in each I put a heavy paving stone – 25 or so pounds. Exercising is, as said above, simple. Pick up the buckets and walk around for a while. You will keep your shoulders back and level, and you will take normal steps. No slouching, no short steps like Babe Ruth.

Priscilla and I also decided on bicycle exercising. Bicycle for her, tricycle for me. My non-balance keeps me from riding a two-wheeler. For now.

My tricycle arrived in a box. After a few months of moving the box around the garage, I decided to assemble the thing. After about 30 minutes, I was done. The brake handle would not assemble. A small part refused to lock into place, leaving the handle useless. Also, a screw in the bumper assembly refused to unscrew from the place into which it was screwed.

Priscilla reminded me than Michael, our oldest, would soon visit, and perhaps he could convince the assembly to work. Michael did visit, and demonstrated why he had successfully completed 20 years of Army aircraft maintenance.

“Michael got the brake fixed,” my wife said.

“What did you do?” I asked Michael.

“There was a little piece that was supposed to lock into place,” he said. I mentioned that was precisely why I had given up; the little piece would not lock in place. Michael said, “Well, it did.”

He also unscrewed the screw that wouldn’t, using the same unscrewdriver I had unsuccessfully used.

“It came right out,” said my wife, who observed all of the successful assembly.

I get the idea that during Michael’s years of supervising and teaching, more than one aircraft mechanic said, “Sgt. Merriman, I can’t get this chingus to work.” And more than once, Michael took the proper tool and said, “Try it this way,” and the chingus locked into place. And every time, the supervised mechanic said, “I tried that. That’s what I did, but it didn’t work.”