Saturday, June 25, 2016

The gator ate the dog

In Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Gator, one of the big bad, blue moonshine monster-morphed gators ate the helpless, coddled dog named Baby.

That is against the rules. Well, used to be.

At one time in monster movies, monsters did not eat children, dogs or bikini babes.

But we live in a new world now, and all things are fair game.

In one of the Shaknado flicks, a shark ate bikini babes. Volleyball-playing bikini babes. But not a dog one fell victim to the flying great whites and hammerheads.

One thing held true in Redneck Gators, though: The Brother died. LL Cool J said it in Deep Blue Sea: "I've seen this movie. The brother always dies." (Or something near enough.) In Redneck Gator, though, the only black man in Vernon Parish, apparently, and he was swallowed by an alligator.

One of these days Hollywood will lose its structure, and a brother will walk away, alive, in a monster movie.

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