300,000 white guys died defeating slavery and 300,000 died defending their invaded territory

NOTE: Strong language in places.

“When Barack Obama ran for the presidency he promised to ‘fundamentally transform’ America. Many of us thought into what? And why would you want to fundamentally transform the greatest experiment in civilized society ever? Through copious pools of blood (quite predominantly white) we had conquered our original sin of slavery and racism.

"About 300,000 white guys died defeating slavery. Another 300,000 died defending their invaded territory. Where are the reparations for their families? Do you want my opinion on reparations? FUCK YOU. Those 600,000 souls would have been far more productive inventing machines and companies and farm implements than dying on a bloody goddam battlefield for a tribe who has yet to say thank you. Who, indeed, 140 years later, still insist on sticking their lazy hand out for a freebie from massah.

"Fundamental transformation. What does that mean? It means gasoline went from $1.85 to $4.00. But we were promised that by Obama and Stephen Chu. So Win Obama. We were promised energy prices would skyrocket by Barack Obama. So Win Obama. Obama promised to give everyone earning under $250,000 a tax break. He did not. HE LIED. He promised us that his healthcare reformation, the nationalization of 10% of our economy, would reduce costs, and allow us to keep our doctors, and keep our plans. HE LIED.

"Let us delve into foreign policy. From the groveling Cairo speech to the misspelled RESET button to a Russian gangster thug to ignoring the true uprising in Persia to embracing an Arab Spring replete with Islamist fundamentalists, I am unimpressed. I could teach K-5s that the little shit next to them stole from them, and will again.

"Foreign policy is relatively easy. You sit in closed quarters with your counterpart, show them evidence of your terrible swift sword, and ask how your two nations can live in peace. Or, like Teddy Roosevelt, you send your brand new Great White Fleet sailing around the world for a year, insisting on dockage in troublesome ports. No dock available? Then I shall anchor in your harbor until one reveals itself. You third world dickhead.

"Fundamental transformation. What does that mean? It means politicizing your federal reserve. It means printing money to give to your crony corporatist clients. The case can be made for the stimulus, although economic facts indicate the recession had already ended. Patching potholes, replacing bridges, opening federal lands to energy exploration are actually shovel-ready jobs. But the money went to grease the wheels of phony, vapor "green energy" companies that existed merely to pretend to create a product, while they funneled money to Barack H. Obama, after which they conveniently bankrupted themselves. Those activities, ladies and gentlemen, are crimes of the highest order.

'The current administration ignored the cries for help from Chris Stevens. He needed security. His portfolio was in upheaval. Libya was rife with al Qaeda. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton blew him the fuck off. They were too busy partying. They intentionally fucked that guy.

'I am loathe to suggest lynching a half-white man, especially a supposedly beloved boy king, but he could certainly stand a fortnight in the stocks. And the gibbet ain't much of a stretch for Hillary. Leaving them swinging for a few weeks is a very effective medieval Powerpoint presentation.

'The soft, growling underbelly of America is about to speak, however. We don't need stocks and gibbets. And we are often pretty kind to the bastards who betray us. I wish them well on the cocktail circuit, should they be successfully ousted. And may the Republic prosper."

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