Sunday, November 24, 2013

Can’t get that diploma because math is just so hard? Sue the college

‘Suck it up, cupcake’

“Listen sweetie, in the real world, there’s math. It pays the bills. If you flunk math and drop out of your math classes, you fail. Or, you sue the school.

“You know, because they totally owe you that degree. You’re special because you’ve got a virtual cornucopia of disabilities.

“Valdez’s disabilities include Asperger’s syndrome, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and dyscalculia, which is a mathematics learning disability, her attorney, Donald Harris, said Tuesday.

And and and and … “Harris questioned the usefulness of the math courses for Valdez’s career plans of becoming a graphic artist.

“’Nobody will say these general education classes are essential to a degree in art,’ he said.”

(I got a degree in journalism, which means … uh, I wrote for college newspapers for four years. Required for that degree were a bunch … a whole bunch … of courses that had nothing to do with writing for college newspapers – algebra, biology, music appreciation (I already did), psychology, sociology, American history, Western civilization … and some I don’t remember.

(Know what? When I went into the Real World – as close as writing for-profit newspapers really is “real” – I used something from every one of those unnecessary classes.

(Miss Cupcake, though, figures she doesn’t need any courses except graphic arts in order to get a degree in graphic arts. I reckon she will do all her graphically artsy stuff from what is in her own mind. Considering the disabilities listed by her lawyer, Ms. Valdez’s mind might be a bit too crowded for anything real to emerge.)



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