From Babylon Bee
U.S. – Well, this can’t be
good.
After Chick-fil-A caved to the LGBTQ lobby and
agreed to stop donating money to certain Christian organizations, the lemonade
at various Chick-fil-A locations immediately began turning into blood.
"Uh, boss, you'd better come see this!"
cried one employee at an Albany location. "I just squeezed the lemons like
normal---I swear!"
One Chick-fil-A location in Toledo was swarmed with
frogs and locusts, while the judgment of darkness fell on other restaurants
throughout California, though that may just have been a regular power outage.
Restaurant representatives quickly spun the news and
said the beverage is their new Blood-Orange Lemonade that's "rich in
iron."
"There's no problem here," said a nervous
CFA spokesperson. "Liquid turning to blood is always a sign of God's favor
throughout the Bible. In fact, it means our lemonade has that extra-special
blessing from on high. It's rich in iron and good for your immune system since
we don't know what's in there and it will probably strengthen you up if it
doesn't kill you."
A booming voice from the heavens reportedly told
Chick-fil-A to "let my Christian organizations go."
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