Yeah, I’m going to hire a lawyer whose grammar sucks

First thought: This is a joke, right?

Cause of thought: Lawyer ad that said, “It wasn’t easy finding clients for my law firm. Now, with Pacific Injury Network, it is!”

If you get hurt and it’s somebody else’s fault and you don’t have insurance to pay the doctor and/or hospital and you have to miss work but your job won’t pay for what someone else did to you, then you have cause to sue the wrongdoer. It’s a whole ‘nother thing if you decide to sue because the wrongdoer has more insurance than you and can give you a sack full of money if you have a good enough lawyer.

The company’s web site says: “Pacific Injury Network will help connect you with a personal injury lawyer who understands the type of accident you were involved in and the injuries you have suffered. Our accident attorneys have the experience needed to get you the money you deserve for your accident.”

“… the money you deserve for your accident.”

Huh. You were in an accident. You deserve money. Someone was at fault. You are a victim. Someone must pay.

Yeah, well.

These lawyers are part of Progressive America. You are a victim. You deserve money.

PIN has a video, too. The lead-in says: “Attorney’s standing by now call …"

What in that phrase references possession? “Attorney’s” means a lawyer owns something. What does he/she own?

Maybe a client?

BWAHAHAHA! You are mine! I own you!

Sliding down the greased rail, en route to down the tubes.