Tuesday, January 20, 2015

From ‘5 songs the French should have played for John Kerry’

Following his rendition of “You’ve Got A Friend”, James Taylor saluted the visiting mullahs from Qom with the Ayatollah Khomeini’s favorite song, “How Sweet It Is (to be loved by ewes)”.

Barack Obama then joined John Kerry on stage for a moving duet of “I’m So Vain (I prob’ly think this song is about me)”, after which Secretary Kerry updated us on the latest talks with Teheran with a highly nuanced version of Joni Mitchell’s “(I’ve looked at Iranian mushroom clouds from) Both Sides Now”.

Mahmoud Abbas got into the spirit and serenaded the Secretary of State with the Beatles’ “Hey, Jew!”, but Mr Kerry explained that was just one great-grandfather and it was a long time ago back in the Hapsburg Empire.

Asked about excitable young men who talk about avenging the Prophet and open fire while yelling “Allahu Akbar!”, Secretary Kerry responded that he and President Hollande had disagreed on whether to call them “radical extremists” or “extremist radicals” before compromising with a performance of “A Force With No Name”.

Two decapitated heads that had been through the desert with Islamic terrori …I mean, a force with no name then entertained the crowd with a Cat Stevens medley of “The First Cut Is The Deepest” and “Another Saturday Night (and I ain’t got no body)”.

The recital was brought to an end with Secretary Kerry’s performance of the first line of Carole King’s “I Feel The Earth Move (under my feet)”, at which point ISIS blew the US Embassy sky high.

–Mark Steyn

Comment section at http://legalinsurrection.com/2015/01/5-songs-the-french-should-have-played-for-john-kerry/

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