Verizon Wireless is not user friendly

All I wanted was to give Verizon some of my money; i.e., pay my bill.

Could I just call Verizon and tell a real, live, human-type person, “Hi. I would like to give your company some of my money”?

You know the odds of that happening – between 0 and minus-0.

Sunday’s adventure in trying to pay a bill began when my Verizon phone made the sound that means “You’ve got text.” I checked. The text said, “Your payment is now due. Please make a payment by dialing #PMT (#768) from your handset or by calling 888-821-0284.”

I dialed #767. A pleasant voice said, “Welcome to Verizon wireless.” A not-as-pleasant-voice said, “Tikka, tikka, tikka Espanol, tikka, tikka, tikka.” The pleasant voice said, “Please enter your secure password.”

I looked at my Verizon phone. I don’t know why. It’s a habit probably most people have. The phone says something stupid or wrong, you look at it, as though your stern visage will cause the phone to say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound stupid. Let me correct what I said.”

The phone never says that, but you look at it anyway, every time.

My reason for looking at my Verizon phone: (1) I don’t have a secure password. (2) I was trying to give money to Verizon; why did I need a password? If I had been trying to get money from Verizon, then I might need a password. But to give money to Verizon, I need a password?

I thought, Maybe my Verizon voicemail password will work.

The Verizon voice said my entry was incorrect and I should hang up and try again. When I got smarter than the Verizon phone?

I called again, thinking, How about 0-0-0-0 and a real, live, human-type person will come on the line?

Nope. Incorrect, call again.

I got a phone book from the lamp table. (Yes, a real, paper, thick, tree-killing phone book. I was at my mother-in-law’s house, and she believes a phone book is a necessity of life. She is not online for anything, so she’s right for her life style.) I looked up Verizon, figuring the listings would include a number I could use and talk to a real, live, etc. human person.

There were three listings: local Verizon store; another local Verizon store; Verizon business assistance. I called a local Verizon store number. “Welcome to Verizon wireless.” Then the not-as-pleasant-voice, “Tikka, tikka, tikka Espanol, tikka, tikka, tikka.” The pleasant voice returned and listed options, the last of which was for making a payment. Hoo-ray! I pressed 4.

“Please enter your secure password …”

Horsebadillywalla!!!

“… or press zero.”

What? I don’t have to enter my doesn’t-exist secure password?

I paid my Verizon bill.

But in all honesty, Verizon has the most not-user-friendly systems ever.

If anyone at Verizon ever tried to pay on-line, maybe the system would change.