Yeah, you might have to put on shoes or something

“Debra Jackson said she likes shopping at the Dollar Place because it is convenient and casual.

“’I don’t have to get all dressed up like I’m going to Wal-Mart or something,’ she said.”

http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/1088469/REDNECK-FIRE-ALARM-OT

Advedntures at WalMart

Cylla said, “Do the dogs need medicine cheese?”

“Yes, they do,” I said. Charlie has Addison’s disease and takes two steroid capsules daily, best done with one-quarter piece of American cheese.

“This is all real cheese,” Cylla said.

“Fake cheese is down here,” I said, and I drove my buggy to that section and got two packages of American cheese, $1.25 per for an off brand, as opposed to $3.98 for Kraft. I walked to Cylla’s buggy and put the packages in and then went back to my buggy and drove to a mop and broom aisle to maybe get something to wash the truck, which we hope to sell before going to Florida. I looked around but could not find anything acceptable.

I happened to look down at my buggy then, and I said, “Why are those two packages of pantyhose in my buggy? I did not get two packages of pantyhose. I haven’t even been in the pantyhose section. If Cylla got two packages of pantyhose, she would have put them in her buggy.”

And then: “This is not my buggy. I have someone else’s buggy. Perhaps while I carried the two packages of cheese to Cylla’s buggy, someone parked a buggy behind mine, and when I returned to get my buggy I took the first one, not seeing another, assuming no other buggy was there. But here it is, and it has two packages of pantyhose.”

I drove back to the fake cheese section. There was another buggy, empty except for a piece of paper that was in it when I got the buggy at the front of the store. I parked the pantyhose buggy behind the paper-in-it buggy and then got mine. I did not look around for anyone to apologize to. I mean, how weird would it be … “I apologize for taking your pantyhose.”

He had to ask

I stood inside the empty Tire and Lube bay at WalMart, watching three associates butcher the simple act of taking information for an oil change. As my wife later said, “Do you wonder why you have no customers? Start with inept employees.”

Inept. That was the exact word I thought of as I held my temper in check and did not interrupt the incompetence, deciding immediate evaluation of ability might influence the associates’ performance of said oil change.

Then, two assistant managers walked in from outside, the man in the lead with a demeanor of “I am important,” and the trailing man with the look of “Yes, you are, and I am so lucky to be led by one like you.” The man in the lead walked past me, with no indication of my presence. The trailing assistant manager ruined my moment and his by asking, “How is everything going, sir?”

Aw, shoot. You had to ask, didn’t you?

By then both assistant managers had reached the door that led inside, but both stopped when I said, “Never have I seen three more incompetent people attempt to do a job.”

The senior of the two said, “What is the problem, sir?”

“First of all, we were not greeted. We had to find somebody to tell we wanted an oil change. Then, that man told us to go inside and give information to the man at the counter. We went inside. That man told us to go back outside and talk to the man who told us to go inside. The outside man took that device that enters information and fiddled with it and took out the battery pack and shoved the pack back and said, ‘Who used this last? I had to reset the batteries.’ Then he started poking at the device, but apparently nothing happened.”

Both assistant mangers by now had that blank look people get when they stop listening and just want you to go away.

I said, “Do not tell them now, because I do not want them to screw up the oil change.”

The senior man said, “Well, sir, we apologize for any inconvenience and we are sorry your experience was not better.”

I turned away then. The two men went somewhere.

When my wife joined me and we were inside the store, away from Tire and Lube ears, she said, “Umm, umm, umm.” (If you are not from the South, you might not recognize that as a lady keeping her cool and not uttering remarks on the parentage and intelligence of an inept person or persons.)

“I know,” I said. I then told her of my conversation with the two assistant managers.

That was when she said, “Do you wonder why you have no customers? Start with inept employees.”