It's good, being a Texan

Q: Why did the University of Texas disband its water polo team? A: All the horses drowned. 

If God had not wanted Texans to ski, He wouldn't have given them New Mexico and

Colorado.

Jeff Foxworthy: If someone in a Lowe’s store offers you assistance, but doesn’t work there, you might be in Texas.

John Cusack: Texas women have an amazing sense of purpose when they lose it. They’re the best girls in the world – they’re loyal and fun, but when they get mad, they’ll try to kill you.

A non-Texan gets Texas right

(If G-d were looking for new Chosen People, He would choose Texans. Stiff-necked, hard-headed, generally hard-working people who will argue with anybody, as Abraham and Moses did with G-d.)


‘Travelogue: Texas’

Travel is one of the best ways to see the world. I’ve been lucky in my life in that I have had the luxury of traveling quite a bit on someone else’s dime. Business travel is not vacation travel, but I think it is often a better way to see the world simply because you have long stretches with nothing to do so you look around, explore, adventure. On vacation, you have “stuff’ that fills every waking moment, usually within the confines of the Potemkin vacation area.

I’ve been to Texas many times. I used to travel here often for work matters. Thirty years ago when I first visited Texas on the way to Mexico, I thought this is a place I should live. For some reason, it just seems to fit my sensibilities.

Every time I’ve come here, I have had the same thought: I don’t think I’m going back. But, here I am nearing my jump into the void and I’m still just a guy who visits Texas.

The funny thing about Texas is it is remains the one place in America that is brimming with confidence. Texas is not a terribly sentimental place. They will knock down an old building for a new building without giving it a thought. In the Northeast, an army of weirdos will be there guarding the old building, even though the weirdos will have no clue why the old building was built. It’s just old so they think it has to be saved.

At the same time, those same weirdos will claw one another’s eyes out to cancel the school Christmas play. There’s the lack of confidence. In most of America, our betters conduct themselves like the ne’er do well grandchildren of a successful man. The kids compete with one another as to who is the most reverent toward the old man, but not a one of them tries to emulate him. The best they can do is have a big picture of him in their house, which he bought for them.

Texas does not have the problem yet. Texans love being Texans and they love being in Texas. There’s really nothing special about Texas. Dallas is a massive suburb that looks like every other suburb in the South, but they are proud of it and you see that everywhere you go. Texas plays Oklahoma today in the Cotton Bowl and tickets are selling for $500 on the secondary market, even though UT is terrible. It’s just a great celebration of Texas football history.

I think that confidence is why Texans are soft on immigration. They are cocksure that if you move to Texas, you will become a Texan. They are right about it too. Vietnamese refugees landed in Houston and are now Texans whose ancestors came from Vietnam. Of course, Texas has always had loads of Mexicans from the northern part of Mexico. A big part of what makes Texas tick is the blend of Southern culture and northern Mexican culture.

In Massachusetts, there’s zero cultural confidence. If America were invaded, the good thinkers of the Bay State would surrender on day one and begin taking classes in the language and culture of the invaders. That’s why the northeast seems to be leading the charge on the immigration fight. They are scared. A friend here in Texas, who is from Mass, is a rock-ribbed Trump man now and it is all over immigration.

In the South, illegal immigration is an issue, but mostly because it offends the people’s law and order instincts. It’s not seen as a threat to their way of life. In many respects, migrant workers are a part of their way of life. The South would be a very different place without the flow of migrants into the agribusinesses. Go into a poultry plant in Virginia or North Carolina and you see nothing but Hispanics. It’s been that way for generations.

The same is true of Texas. Mexican migration in and out of the state is just a part of the state’s character. The Mexicans who live here permanently came here because a part of what made them Mexican also made them Texan. The transition was easy. Of course, there are Texas families who were here before Texas was a place. The result is most Texans feel they have a good handle on how to manage Mexican immigration.

Finally, kicking around here it strikes me that the Cult hates Texas for the same reason they hated Sarah Palin. In the case of Palin, the idea that dirt people could live the feminist ideal while hanging onto dirt people culture enraged the Cult. Palin was the living negation of the One True Faith. There’s a similar thing with Texas. here, diversity is on display all over, but it’s held together with the dominant Texas culture.

The Cult believes this is impossible. For them, diversity means obliterating all culture by running it through the blender of multiculturalism. The result is the exact opposite of vibrant diversity, but the screaming and bellowing makes it impossible to point it out. A state like Texas puts the lie to the Cult’s blathering about diversity. Texas has boatloads of it without adopting any of the Cult-Marx nonsense.

Now, I’m off to eat my weight in fried food.

http://thezman.com/wordpress/

'I think it’s one of them Scud missiles'

A man who said he was city constable at Bogata called the newspaper on a spring afternoon in 2000. He said, “You know where (Name) Trading Post is?” I said I did. He said, “Well, they got some kind of rocket there. I think it’s one of them Scud missiles.”

I managed not to laugh. All kinds of people call with all kinds of stories, and you treat them all with open ears.

The constable said he had called Fort Sill, Okla. “They’re sending an explosives team down here,” he said.

I said I would be out to take a look. I asked if he would be at the trading post.

“Naw,” he said. “I got things to do.”

John Conrad, one of the newspaper’s two photographers, looked up when I opened the photography door office. I said, “You want to go to Bogata with me and get a picture of a Scud missile?”

“Do what?”

“I’ll explain on the way.”

We went in my pickup. I had driven past the trading post many times. It would have made a good story, but no one was ever there.

It was the same when John and I stopped. I went up on the porch. The door was locked. I knocked. No one answered.

John said, “I think I see it.”

I went down the steps. John pointed at a tree off to one side. Against the tree was a cylindrical object about three feet long. It was green. John and I inspected the thing. Wires hung out the back end.

John said, “I don’t think it’s a Scud. It’s a few feet short.”

“Yeah,” I said. I picked it up. “From the pointed end, I’d say it’s some kind of jungle penetrator. I don’t know what the wires are for.”

John took a few pictures of the thing against the tree and lying on the ground.

Next day I called Fort Sill and talked with an EOD sergeant. I said, “Some dufus in Bogota said he called about a Scud missile.”

The sergeant laughed. “Yeah. We sent a team. The thing is a people counter from Vietnam. The Air Force dropped thousands of them to keep track of people moving along trails. They had a transmitter and sent information somewhere.”

It was good to know what the thing was. A good story would have had it a Scud. But as John said, it was a few feet short.

That’s nice, but potential immigrants should stay home

Texas v. California

“The two states’ educational outcomes reflect this disparity. If we compare national test scores in math, science, and reading for the fourth and eighth grades among four basic ethnic and racial categories — all students, whites, Hispanics, and African-Americans — Texas beats California in every category, and by a substantial margin. In fact, Texas schools perform consistently above the national average across categories of age, race, and subject matter, while California schools perform well below the national average.”

http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/293412/texas-vs-california-chuck-devore

Texas is as close as I’ve been. (You know what I'm talking about.)