It's good, being a Texan

Q: Why did the University of Texas disband its water polo team? A: All the horses drowned. 

If God had not wanted Texans to ski, He wouldn't have given them New Mexico and

Colorado.

Jeff Foxworthy: If someone in a Lowe’s store offers you assistance, but doesn’t work there, you might be in Texas.

John Cusack: Texas women have an amazing sense of purpose when they lose it. They’re the best girls in the world – they’re loyal and fun, but when they get mad, they’ll try to kill you.