Sunday, December 29, 2013

In case you missed it (and I know I did)

On Oct. 1, 2013, “the federal government, in an unthinkable development that we cannot even think about, partially shuts down. The result is a catastrophe of near-sequester proportions. Within hours wolves are roaming the streets of major U.S. cities, and bacteria the size of mature salmon are openly cavorting in the nation’s water supply. In the Midwest, thousands of cows, no longer supervised by the Department of Agriculture, spontaneously explode. Yellowstone National Park — ALL of it — is stolen. In some areas gravity stops working altogether, forcing people to tie themselves to trees so they won’t float away. With the nation virtually defenseless, the Bermudan army invades the East Coast, within hours capturing Delaware and most of New Jersey.”

Also, in November, “Observers note that the White House has stopped referring to the program as Obamacare’ and is now calling it by the more formal legal name ‘George W. Bush.’”

(That’s Dave Barry’s story, and he’s sticking to it.)


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