Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Old eyes


While I was moving things in the refrigerator, my eyes fell upon a carton of orange juice, which noted “Penguin Squeezed.”         

“Whaat?” I said to myself, while my mind considered: How does one train penguins to squeeze oranges? Their wings/flippers do not rotate in a manner that would squeeze an orange. And, in what part of the world are penguins and oranges found together? Within a few miles of our house are several orange groves, and I have yet to see one penguin, let alone a number necessary to squeeze oranges for fun and profit.

Then my eyes adjusted, and I read the actual statement: “Premium Squeezed.” Oh. Premium Squeezed. That brought other wonderings: Does that mean the oranges were squeezed by professionals? Can I find oranges squeezed into juice by amateurs? Perhaps at a lower price?

Next time I am at Publix, I will keep a lookout for cartons proclaiming: Amateurishly Squeezed, Yet Still The Juice of Oranges.

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