Evangelicals

A bunch of years ago I called a fellow platoon sergeant to talk about upcoming training. Pete sounded almost out of breath when he answered the phone.

“Hey,” I said. “What’re you doing?”

Pete laughed and said, “It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m an old man. What do you think I am doing?”

“Oh,” I said. “Sorry.”

Pete laughed again and said, “Call me back in about twenty minutes.”

“I’ll call you back in an hour,” I said, and hung up.

Pete and his wife Doris were members of a denomination designated as “evangelical,” “conservative Christian” and oftentimes “right-wing Christian” by liberal news organizations and left-wing politicians, that is, Democrats.

My wife is a conservative, evangelical, right-wing Christian. Her co-religionists do not refer to themselves as a denomination, but simply “Christian.” The vast majority of conservative Christians I have known are very much aware of why God made man and woman. The Tanakh has numerous incidents of “he went in unto her.” The New Testament, not so many.

When my wife and I were first married, we both were in college, and I worked for a newspaper. On Sundays, I went in at 2 p.m., not long after Sunday dinner. When we transferred to another college, we had Sundays free. We discovered Sunday afternoon naps. My wife often said, “I don’t know why I get so sleepy on Sunday afternoon.” After we had kids and the kids were old enough to follow instructions, my wife, after Sunday lunch, often said, “Dad and I are going to take a nap. Unless the house is on fire, do not bother us. Do not go outside. Watch TV, play board games. We will be up in a couple of hours.” Amazingly, the kids followed those instructions.

I told my wife about my short talk with Pete. She laughed and said another woman at church mentioned that right after she was married, she realized why her mother told her and her brothers and sisters the same thing every Sunday afternoon.

Evangelical women are raised right.

I should explain that the Sunday I called Pete, my wife and I had already had our nap. I guess Pete and Doris got  a late start.