Extraterrestrials and American TV

Somewhere out there in the Great Unknown, sentient beings monitor the galaxies, looking for worlds of possible settlement.

All kinds of electronic signals pass through receivers, and on their screens the ETs watch “My 600-pound Life,” “Say Yes to the Dress,” “Pitt Bulls and Parolees,” “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette,” the Kardashians and many other reality television shows. Seinfeld, as well.

The ET monitors must think, and maybe report, “The inhabitants of this world are insane and therefore simple for conquest.” Or, “These beings are totally, completely crazy as a Krall and should be let alone, lest they infect true intelligence.”