A Texasism

Chad Hiltz of Discovery Channel’s “Bad Chad” series said, “I’m as nervous as a grasshopper in a chicken house.”

I had never heard that one, but growing up in Northeast Texas, I have some familiarity with grasshoppers and chickens. A grasshopper in a chicken house would be the center of attention, but not for long.

Another saying new to me I heard in 1991 while covering a story in Sulphur Springs, Texas. A man from San Diego had been convicted of robbing two elderly women. Two Hot Springs, Ark., men were also convicted, with all three sentenced to a bunch of years in prison.

The San Diego man’s defense was that he was working at a restaurant when the robbery happened, but nobody from the restaurant made it to Texas to verify his alibi.

However, a Texas highway patrol officer identified the man as one of three in a car he stopped the night of the robbery.

A Hopkins County constable, telling of her faith in the DPS trooper’s accuracy, said, “If he tells you a rooster dips snuff, you best look for a can of Skoal under its wing.”