Chapter 4, The Amazing Adventures of Ralph Kroder, a work in progress

Read the freaking rules

       Cassandra was at a Homeowners Association meeting the night the flying Toyota Tacoma killed Ralph. Cassandra was treasurer for the HOA. Ralph attended one HOA meeting, afterwards telling Cassandra he would not give the idiots any measure of his experience in working with people. He said, “It was extremely difficult, but I managed to keep seated and not go off on those dumbasses, who obviously have not read the covenant rules and have no intention to. I mean, it would be real easy if they read the rules. The rules explain what they may and may not do, but you’ve got idiots who show up and say really stupid things and then won’t listen when somebody tries to tell them why they can’t have six pink plastic flamingos and a dozen plastic penguins in their front yard.” Cassandra said it was a good thing Ralph had kept his seat and his temper. She knew well her husband’s short fuse with stupid people. That he was almost always right did not make assuaging hurt feelings any easier.

One of the things Ralph appreciated about Cassandra was her deep-seated belief that people would be of much better emotional health if everybody played well together. Cassandra did not directly take on the role of peacemaker, but worked from the sidelines, influencing whomever she could. That did not mean Cassandra had no iron or steel. Of those, she had plenty.

When working as CEO of a non-profit while Ralph was in one of his long-term assignments at Fort Hood, Texas, Cassandra had reason to fire three workers. She did not enjoy ending the women’s employment, but each had failed to meet goals and expectations, even after counseling sessions in which Cassandra reminded the women of specific, written instructions concerning volunteer membership recruitment, training of volunteers and retention of volunteers, without whom the organization would not exist. All three of the women, in previous counseling for not meeting goals had said, “Well, if I meet your goals, you’re just going to increase them for next year.” Cassandra’s reply, “You have not met your stated goals, and I’m still going to increase your numbers for the next year,” was met with looks of “You’re kidding, right?”

One of the women was in charge of maintaining membership and training lists for all volunteers. Shortly after taking the CEO position, Cassandra asked the woman to update and print a spreadsheet of membership. “Please let me have the list two weeks from today,” Cassandra told the woman. The day before the report was due, Cassandra asked the woman where she was on the report. “It’s due tomorrow,” she said. The woman said, “I didn’t think you meant it.” Cassandra asked for an explanation of the statement. The woman said, “Well, you told me you wanted the report tomorrow, but I didn’t think you meant it.”

       One night at supper, Cassandra told Ralph, “I made a woman cry today.” Her words indicated she blamed herself. Ralph asked what had happened. “I called her into my office to fire her,” Cassandra said. “I laid out everything -- unmet goals, which she and I had agreed on, results of three counseling sessions, in which I repeated the goals. She had signed the goals statement and the counseling session reports. She started crying right after I told her I was letting her go. She cried and she cried. She used up a whole box of tissue.”

       Ralph said, “All she had to do was her job, right?”

       “Yes,” Cassandra said.

       “You and she set attainable goals, and she got counselled when she did not meet the goals.”

       Cassandra nodded.

       “Three times,” Ralph said.

       “Yes,” Cassandra said.

       “You have no fault,” Ralph. “Here are the three things on leadership and on training.” He counted on his fingers. “You explain what was wrong, why it was wrong, and how to fix it. You did all those.”

       Cassandra nodded and said, “It’s easy to say. It’s easy to agree. But the doing …” She shook her head. “If she had only listened.”

       “And done what she was supposed to do,” Ralph said. He smiled. “I have the easy job.”

       “How’s that?”

       “Well, I have almost two hundred years of regulations, traditions and experience backing me up. And my soldiers know that. Sometimes they don’t remember all that. But …” He shrugged. “When I have completed a counseling, there is no doubt that they know the three things. If they don’t meet what I lay out, I counsel them again. And again and again, if necessary. My soldiers, generally, do not do things deserving of ending their employment. I know I won’t have to fire any of them. In my line of business, that is a really serious deal.”