Monday, August 2, 2021

So God and Moses are standing on the beach...

…at the edge of a great body of water. (Red Sea, Sea of Reeds, whichever it was, do the arguing somewhere else. It was a great body of water.)

MOSES: Well, this is another fine predicament you’ve gotten us into. We can’t go any farther, and the entire Egyptian army is a couple of days behind us.

GOD: I have an out. But, there is good news and there is bad news.

MOSES: Give me the good news. If you weren’t who you are, I would have already given up on these stiff-necked people and gone back to shepherding in the real desert. 

GOD: You will strike the water with your staff. The waters will recede, the people will walk across on dry land, and when the Egyptian army is far enough in the crossing, I will release the water and drown every last one of the pagans. Every last one.

MOSES: That is the best news you've given us since we left Goshen. But you said there was bad news?

GOD: Yeah. You get to write the environmental impact statement.

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